Whoa, whoa, slow down there. I was kidding. Don't hurriedly click off the page because you think I'm a maniac. In some ways I am, yes, but I can control my emotions.
Usually.
I've had my share of bottling up anger and pain, however. For example: there was this guy back in sixth grade who I was totally in love with. I know, sixth grade, I was young and dumb and foolhardy, but what the heck, right? Anyways, he was awesome.
He was nice, smart, athletic, and basically everything a girl could want for in one boy. Problem was, he liked my best friend. I wasn't really crushed, per say, because it didn't surprise me. My best friend, as nice as she was, and still is, was perfect. She was everything a boy could want for. So they got together.
Then he wasn't so nice anymore. My best friend started getting awkward around him. He started calling her mean names. Their relationship began to be extremely rocky. Blinded by my crush, I could never find anything wrong when the other girls in my class bagged on him.
Sooner or later, they broke up, and I thought, "This is my chance!!!" He started flirting with me, I started flirting with him, and we were literally best friends. He even gave me his number. Unfortunately, I never got to make a move, because everybody else in the class hated him. So he transferred to a different school over the summer.
I pretended to despise him. When the others ranted about his cockiness, bad language, or dirty mind I played along. But secretly I still missed the idiot. I saw him from time to time. I even saw him at church occasionally, but when he waved, I just glared back, convinced of my friends' opinion of him.
Soon, I guess we began to forget about each other. The thought of him didn't torment me when I lay awake at night anymore. I don't think I cared for awhile. But we had this giant multi-school formal get together last winter, and he asked me to dance.
That was the last time we've been casual with one another. The last time we were friends. His sister died not long after that dance, and when I went to say how sorry I was at the funeral, he looked at me with these cold, lifeless black eyes, so different from the blue ones I was used to. I didn't know what to say, so I tapped on his shoulder and said in a dead voice, "...Are you okay?"
He stared at me, saying that he, in fact, was fine. I knew he wasn't though. When I tried texting him over the summer, he usually just ignored me, leaving me to wonder what it was, exactly, that I did to hurt him.
That's what gets me the most. Now when I see at school everyday, since we go to the same high school, he acts like he hates me. Now when I greet him in the hallway, he doesn't even turn around to say hi back.
He acts like I don't exist, and I don't know why, and it's killing me.
Whooooaaaaa..... Did I just totally depress you? Sorry 'bout that.
This is actually a true story about me. Weird, right? This dude COMPLETELY confuses me. I'll figure it out in the end, though. No worries, people!!
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